Top Ten: Ira’s Movies

I surprisingly managed to survive my first week of training [i.e. not being in my PJs and bed]. I work today and have a lecture tomorrow along with a crap ton of stuff left to do.  So this week’s super short post is going to be as pointless as a giraffe wearing heels.

I decided to share my top ten movies. I watch certain movies over and over again. I am sure most people do the same. The movies I love to re-watch are not usually what I would list as the best films or even best films by those directors. I am not including cinematic masterpieces like The Godfather, Bicycle Thief, Vertigo, Psycho, Seven Samurai, or It’s a Wonderful Life because everyone knows that they are perfection. Instead, I am sharing that generally great but my personal favourites for chilling [i.e. nothing too serious/sad]:

1. The Royal Tenenbaums – my favourite movie.
2. In Bruges – the funniest movie. I love dark comedies.
3. Lord of the Rings trilogy – My X-Mas tradition
4. Inception – I know that the Dark Knight is Nolan’s best film but I love rewatching Inception so much that I bought the Blu-ray…the soundtrack, Leo and the cast, the story, and visual elements.
5. Snatch – Love me some early Guy Ritchie. Everything he makes now sucks.
6. Dear Frankie – Such a sweet film that I discovered because of Gerard Butler.
7. Paheli [Indian] – I love this feminist fairy tale.
8. Sanjuro [Japanese] – Family classic
9. Midnight in Paris – Literature student/librarian/art historian fantasy. Rhinoceros.
10. Thor Ragnarok – New but so amazing.
11. Y Tu Mama Tambien [Mexican]/Les Amours Imaginaires [Quebequois] and Call Me by Your Name – I love movies with good LGBTQ+ representation. I am cheating by adding the 11th movie but it’s so good!

Pseudo-Preggo Tales

Other than being weirdly busy, mending broken friendships, going to the ROM for the Christian Dior show, and feeling super fatigued, I don’t have much to discuss this week. This gives me the perfect opportunity to share some pseudo-preggo stories from 2017. If you have not read my previous pseudo-preggo stories, they are basically about how people assume/inquire about my pregnancy even though I am not pregnant. The joys of having a big steroid-induced belly! The stories end with either me lying to avoid an awkward situation or me awkwardly telling them the truth. I find the stories funny while everyone else feels sad for me. Here are three stories:

Story 1 & 2:

Summers are generally difficult in the pseudo-preggo department because you can’t wear coats that tend to hide your belly. So in the beginning of September, I suddenly had a realization while crossing the street: “Woah, did I make it through the entire Summer without a single pregnancy-related comment?!”  Literally the very next day, I was taking the Barton bus with my mother after big Italian lunch and people kept offering me their seats. If it was once or twice, I would assume it was politeness but this was almost half the bus! What makes this situation funnier/worse were 1. I took this bus only once before  and the previous time, someone also gave me their seat and “you take it, you are pregnant!” 2. I was wearing a dress that I thought made me look cute. I don’t think I have said ‘no’ so many times in such a short period of time as I did on that bus.
2. Literally, the day after the bus ride, I went to my second physiotherapy appointment, where the assistant [whom I just met] asked me about the age of my baby. I am not joking. I was surprised and told her I didn’t have any children. She explained that she assumed that my scars [on my belly] were pregnancy scars. I had to give the whole story about having an extremely rare autoimmune disease that I have fully memorized from repetition. Normally, I wouldn’t care but it was funny that right after I thought that I had gotten away with an entire Summer without a single preggo comment, I get not one but two in the same week!

Story 3
After staying home for a week due to a shitty cold and a cold sore from Hell, I went to Costco with my dad. I hadn’t brushed my hair or put on any make-up since my mother woke me up said that my father was going to Costco in 10mins so I needed to get ready [I can’t remember why I so desperately needed to go Costco that day]. So there I was in my long Winter coat, half awake, pushing that giant Costco cart when this woman just comes up to me and says that she loves my coat. Actually, let me tell you exactly how the convo went:
Lady: “Omg, I love your coat!”
Ira [completely surprised]: “umm…thanks?”
Lady: It’s so pretty. The whole thing. I mean, you are so pretty!
Ira [surprised AF]: Thank you! You are so nice!
Lady: “Your glow!”
Ira: “Huh?!”
Lady: “You are pregnant, right?!”
Ira: “umm, no.”
Lady: “Wait, you are not…pregnant…omg, I am sorry. ummmmm..bye” [As she awkwardly power walks away]
I was genuinely caught off guard because 1. I was half-asleep 2. she dispelled my theory about looking less pregnant in under layers since I was wearing a long coat. Normally [in a less sleepy state], I would just lie and say that I am pregnant to avoid this kind of awkward-ass situation and to save her from embarrassment. The worst part was that my dad was right there watching the situation unfold. He laughed and said: “at least she said that you are pretty.” The whole situation was just painful because this was the first time that this has happened in front of my dad and also because I felt bad for the poor girl who was trying to be nice to me.

Anyways, let’s hope that 2018 will be kinder to me in the pregnant area. Actually, I probably just jinxed myself and someone at the dinner party [that I am semi-forced to attend tonight] will congratulate me on my pregnancy.

Sidenote: I am watching “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri” while typing this. Great movie. I don’t think it is best picture worthy [#TeamCallMeByYourName] but it better win an Oscar for best actress [and hopefully best supporting actor too]. The movie is by Martin McDonagh whom I adore because of “In Bruges” [perfection] and “Seven Psychopaths” [great]. However, I was slightly heartbroken that Colin Farrell was not in this movie since he was magical in both of McDonagh’s previous films.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

We don’t actually celebrate Christmas; instead, we celebrate pseudo-Christmas. Pseudo-Christmas is basically all the materialism and gluttony of the Christmas without the “spirit” of Christianity. We like presents and food but we are not Christians. A lot of my friends are genuinely obsessed with Christmas but after years of working retail during the holidays [i.e. stressed out shopping season], I am pretty neutral about it. Everyone is so stressed during the holidays – it is actually sad to watch. You know what else I don’t care for? Christmas movies! With the notable exception of “Elf,” I don’t really enjoy most Christmas movies. I could list a lot of things that don’t excite me about Christmas so I decided to do the opposite and  list my favourite things about the holidays:

1. Candy canes – minty goodness
2.  Panettone – no one else seems to appreciate it.
3. Christmas trees –  Magical. I want a tree!
4. Sparkly makeup – who am I kidding? I wear glitter throughout the year but it’s nice to see other people wearing it too.
5. Cranberry sauce – everything is better with cranberry sauce.
6. Family time – cliche…speaking of which…

My family with the addition of my brother’s gf are having Christmas dinner and watching “Elf” tonight. I am cooking because I secretly love my roast chicken and obviously cranberry sauce! I also going to my cousin’s place on Christmas day. My cousin, who is one those Christmas obsessed people that I previously mentioned, likes to become Martha Stewart for one day a year. Seriously, it is like watching a cooking show but getting to eat the food afterward. I don’t get the whole-stressed-out-for-cooking-for-a-whole-bunch of people thing. When I cook, I keep things super simple so I don’t quite why people “enjoy” running around stressing out about hosting. I suggested that we divide up the cooking but she refused. To each his own. I am not going to complain as long as there is food.

Life Update

I have been busy preparing for my lectures at the library [and then going overbroad by working on my Spring lectures] so I have not had the time to update the blog. Sorry. I made a promise to post every week so here I am with a few hours to spare. I am going to give you a quick life update.

• I am in a better mental space now than I was earlier this year. I will write about it in greater detail in next week’s post. I am happy not because of what is happening right now but for the future. The world of potentials is better than reality! There are few thing brewing for next year and I am hopeful for the best. So keep your fingers crossed for me.
• I failed my driving test. It was not bad, it was horrifyingly embarrassingly bad! I want to laugh and cry just thinking about it. I haven’t driven since but I gotta back on the wagon. I have never failed anything in my life until now. I am sad because I paid for extra lessons and shit. I am just sad for my money …and my dignity.
• Random but I am going to ban myself from buying makeup in 2018! I went crazy this Black Friday…paying my bills hurt. lol. I really don’t need anything but I keep buying.
• Speaking of Black Friday, I always go out shopping …in sickness or health…this year, I chose not to because 1. I don’t need anything in particular 2. I am gotten lazier than usual [bed vs. mall. Bed always wins] 3. I did most of my shopping pre-Friday. Fun discovery – most make-up brands start their sales prior to the Friday so buy your shit before they sell out and/or you have to wait in line to enter a site. Funny story – I bought something from Beautybay.com on Tuesday when they started their sale. No fuss. The following day I went back and there was a line  – there were only 250 994 people ahead of me! I kid you not I just “waited in line” solely because I wanted to see what the hype was about.  When I finally was able to enter the site [after literally 13 hours], it was the exact same sale from Tuesday but almost everything was sold out.
• My friend, H is going to have baby #2. A girl this time! I bought her [the baby] 2 dresses that match my dresses. One is a blue and white polka dot dress and the other is white with black stripes with tiny bunnies on the pockets. Baby clothes are the best!
• I am semi-fighting a semi-cold. Wtf is that? Well, it’s when you have half the symptoms of having a cold but are fully sick. So confused. I don’t know whether to stop my myfortic or not!
• How is it only 15 days before x-mas?!! I have bought all my presents months ago and have nothing to worry about. #bragging. My only issue is that I don’t know what to write in Dr.K’s card. Why does this matter? Well, last year, I was re-reading the Divine Comedy so I made a reference to purgatory. He remembered it because it reminded him of “Lost” [the TV show]. So now I need make sure his x-mas card has something somewhat meaningful in it. The problem is that I have not read any poetry this year other than very little Keats, so I feel uninspired. I can’t put any Keats in the card because it’s about dying young, which might be not suitable for a doctor.
• It has finally snowed. I can officially start bitching about Winter.

The Alphabet Game!

A. Autoimmune…Awareness…AIDAS [currently the three most used used words in my vocabulary…also should add ‘alliteration’, which I love]

B. Dr. B – I have occasional panic attacks thinking about what would happen when he leaves Dr. K in September. I don’t like people touching me and he is the literally person only one allowed to so.

C. Costco

D. Docs. more docs. different depts of docs.

E. ENT

F. Family, Friends, and Food

G. Grateful. God. Need to re-learn how to pray! #lazy

H. Hope.Hunger

I. Will the real Ira please stand up?

J. Juravinsky – still struggle when I think of that place.

K. Dr. K, my rheumatologist.

L. Lymphoma.

M. Mom.

N. Needles. Apparently I used to fear them, now I can’t feel them

O. Ottawa

P. Pseudo-tumours [duh], panda

Q. Quotations. Proper citation is key to an organized world.

R, Rituximab.  

S. Sherlock Holmes

T. Tests & Tapering

U. UWO

V. VQ scan/ virgil

W. Weight gain – fat panda

X. X-ray

Y. Year 2014.

Z, Zebra

Heroine & the Eternal Optimist

{Written: Early March}

Due to X-mas/boxing day shopping, size issues, and general lack of funds, I kind of haven’t been buying stuff for myself. It’s so weird because I am a staunch believer in the school of retail therapy [I used to go to buy make-up to celebrate if I did well on an exam/test, if I did poorly, if I was having a very sad or happy day…needless to say, a lot of OSAP money has gone to Sephora/Mac stores #my bad]. Anyways, after almost two months of not going to the mall, I finally went on a “trip” with the family. So much planning involved – for me, going out in general now requires work [my symptoms and the side-effects of my meds provide so much spontaneity in my life that everything else needs a fair bit of organizing and maneuvering]. There was nothing good. Based on my past retail experiences, I know that it is currently in between seasons so there is nothing on sale. Furthermore, I have been avoiding buying clothes because I, however foolishly, still cling on to the hope of losing weight soon [as I eat a cookie at the 5AM. lol].

Anyways, I went to the Mac counter [I had to … it’s not a habit, it’s tradition] to check Viva Glam Miley and immediately fell in love another lipstick…It’s a a mid to deep purple called ‘Heroine’. It’s part of their regular collection but they always try to keep re-introducing it as part of their limited collections. Normally, I don’t really care about names or packaging but wearing this shade made bit a like a super-hero [or heroine]! I went to work-out in the basement feeling a bit sassier! It’s amazing the impact clothes, make-up, or “superficial” things can affect us on a non-superficial, internal way. I realize it’s just a lipstick and wearing something with a certain name is not magically make me better but it can have empowering effect. Sometimes, we forget/omit parts of ourselves because we are too fatigued, busy, or sick and we might not realize the effect it has on us and our loved ones. I spend my limited energy on getting through my daily activities [i.e. do I make lunch or put on make-up?…obviously food. Always choose food] but I am starting to believe that I should try to also try to bring those “superficial” parts out too. Let me clarify, I am not going to able to put on make-up [I have yet to wear Heroine since the first time] or wear proper clothes most days. However, I think I am going to try to bring out that sense of empowerment [my internal Heroine] as much as possible…except I am not yet sure how. I will just have to figure out how to balance my superhero and sick self…Sick girl by day, Pseudo-girl by night? … fighting autoimmune disease and creating awareness!

BTW in case you didn’t know a. 100% of proceeds of the Viva Glam’s go AIDS charities, b. I obviously bought Viva Glam Miley, [OMG, seriously gorgeous papaya colour!]. I have always tried to be ethical or donate to charities but it was only after doing the Fearless Challenge in November  that I started to notice simple ways of donating of money. You would be surprised how little effort is required to give to others – i.e. half of my MAC purchase went to charity with zero effort from my part 🙂 If you keep your eyes open, you will see how many brands are doing charitable things without overtly pressuring their customers. I also noticed that there was online deal with Essie nail polish [for a reduced price!] where the entire proceeds went to Plan Canada’s Because I am a Girl initiative  – Send a Girl to School. One of the nail polish I got from Essie is called ‘Eternal Optimist’ [total coincidence], which I am currently wearing and loving. No, it has not magically made me feel like an eternal optimist. Nah, that’s never going to happen. Maybe an almost eternal optimist with a sprinkle of realist. It does make me smile. So based on my new make-up purchases, I am an eternally optimistic heroine. Can’t beat that, right?!

La Dolce Vita [#annoyinglifelessons]

I am currently broke but I am so filled with positivity that it doesn’t matter! HAHAHHAHA. HELLS NO! Normally, I am a cheap shopaholic, with the notable exception of buying pricey make-up [a former Mac-addict [okay, ‘former’ might be up for debate]]. I knew that I was really sick when I stopped wearing make-up and haven’t quite worn any since. That doesn’t stop me from buying it. In order to save money, I initially got into researching dupes online but somehow never got around getting them [surprise surprise]. While doing so, I came across Pat McGrath’s videos for D&G make-up on Youtube, I suddenly realized that my entire lifestyle needed to be fixed. It might be surprising to some but I find haute couture an art form to be admired as much as painting or sculpture. However, I have no desire to own anything designer [with the exception of Louboutins, which make me make sounds that should never ever be made by humans]. While watching Pat’s amazing videos, I suddenly wondered that ‘why can’t I have that lifestyle?’ Terrible timing, I realize.

Style wise, I am usually more of vintage mixed with whatever is on sale at H&M. I suddenly felt need to wear a mix of Ira with D&G – It was like a shooting arrow and I could see my future. It’s much more than just make-up or clothes, I wanted to emulate the Dolce [sweet] lifestyle – feminine, fantastical, Italian baroque mixed with magic, cinematic, etc. I suddenly decided that I needed to stop buying random stuff and focus on a limited quantity, which is difficult to after a lifetime of bargain hunting. However, with a little more work and research, I am finding success. For example, due to my lack of strength, I desperately needed a lighter purse. Instead of getting one on sale from Aldo -and I am totally bragging about my skills right now – I got a leather one from Zara on Black Friday [30% off] and used the gift card that my bff, Zebra gave me for my b-day so it came to nearly the same price as an Aldo one. Now please ask me about how I got the Naked Palette 3 for $19 from Sephora! I have yet to buy D&G make-up and perfume when I can afford/wear it, I shall. Sooner than later, I hope.

Random: I have an unhealthy love of putting stuff on my head so D&G’s gold crowns= heaven. Maybe one day, I may even own a D&G gold crown, which I shall wear on every occasion! Everyone shall  call me ‘Empress Ira’ …muahahah. Okay, I’ll settle for a pair of D&G earrings, make-up,  or something inconspicuous. The truth, however, as I discovered while focusing on “changing” my lifestyle is that it so-called change is not about change at all. It has to do more with exposing parts inside me that for whatever circumstance or reason wasn’t able to come out fully prior to this disease. I have always loved certain things or wanted to reach certain goals but never had the courage, confidence, or the strength to realize them or most importantly, accept that I need, want, and/or deserve them. That’s been one of the benefits of the pseudo-tumour is that I am broken enough to be reassembled as a different – but still always Ira – version. So Pat McGrath, although my wallet doesn’t like you very much at the moment,  I thank you for the make-up videos and inspiration for change.

Check out some of Pat’s amazing work: http://www.vogue.co.uk/beauty/2012/03/30/pat-mcgrath-best-catwalk-make-up-photos

*THIS POST WAS WRITTEN PRIOR TO:  the designers’ quotes dismissing children born by IVF as “synthethetic” and insisting that “the only family is the traditional one.* OBVIOUSLY NO MORE LOVE FOR D&B. I AM SADDENED, HORRIFIED, AND DISGUSTED BY THEIR COMMENTS AS LGBTQ RIGHTS ARE SOMETHING THAT NOT I ONLY VALUE BUT FIGHT FOR TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY! I AM KEEPING THIS POST BECAUSE IT’S NOT SO MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT MORE SO ABOUT TRYING TO BRING OUT “HIDDEN” PART MYSELF! JERKS!